I am reading a fascinating biography of Hudson Taylor entitled: The Spiritual Secret of Hudson Taylor
Here are some of my favorite excerpts:
...and the load Hudson Taylor was carrying was almost more than he could bear. It was not the work with all its difficulty and trial; when consciously in communion with the Lord, these seemed light. It was not shortness of funds, nor anxiety about those dearest to him. It was just - himself. The unsatisfied longing of his heart, the inward struggle to abide in Christ, the frequent failure and disappointment. So bitter was this experience that even when it was left far behind he could never forget it." p. 252Taylor in writing to his parents:
...but I have continually to mourn that I follow at such a distance and learn so slowly to imitate my precious Master. I cannot tell you how I am buffeted sometimes by temptation. I never knew how bad a heart I had. Yet I do know that I love God and love His work and desire to serve Him only and in all things."In a letter to his sister:
Only by thinking of all that Jesus is and all He is for us: His life, His death, His work, He Himself as revealed to us in the Word, to be the subject of our constant thoughts. Not a striving to have faith, or to increase our faith, but a looking off to the Faithful One seems all we need."Powerful, powerful and convicting!