May 1, 2011

I am not good!

As the daughter of a pastor, and a home educator, people assume that I am and always have been a good girl.

Sorry, but no.

There are some days when I am ashamed to tell anyone I am a Christian, not because I don't love Jesus, I do love Jesus!  It has more to do with the real me.

My "old man".  The one who struggles with honoring her parents, who speaks unkindly to her siblings, and is arrogant.  Yeah, that girl.  Oh how I hate her! 

She is loathesome and by no means good.

I am not good plain and simple.  Even if I look from the outside like a self-assured, smart and modest (dress) Christian girl; I have sins to deal with every day.  There are moments when all I really want to do is scream at the world, to let everything pent up inside spill forth.

This is a request: please don't tell me I'm good.  Of my own accord I can do nothing good.  My "righteousness" was described by Jeremiah in graphic terms - like minstrel rags, filthy, bloody, abhorant.

Only because of Jesus can I do "good" or act in a correct manner.  Thank you Abba!

To quote John Newton: "I am a great sinner, but Christ is a great Savior!" 

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Thank you for sharing!